This just in

The poo pick is having record views. All I know is, this load was definitely NOT dropped i n vain.

Peace

You people make me sick! :)

So I check my blog stats almost hourly….do you know what page consistently gets the most views???? THE CRAP PICTURE!! I was tempted to take it down, but apparently it has quite the following. Should I make a “poo gallery?” Should I have a “sick page?” Anyone want to submit ideas?

 Peace

Back to things I hate (stop reading if you get offended easily)

So my attempt at being positive lasted what, 2 posts? Anyway I am so mad right now I have to vent. First, I hate parents. I am sorry but your kids have no place in an office…no place. If your kid is too sick for school, he is too sick for the office. If your spouse brings your brat into the office and he starts to scream/cry/breathe heavy or talk, take him to a break room or outside. If you think your kid has a place at a company party, you are wrong. I was a kid once and I apologize. I know there are times that even the most well behaved kids just act up; this is when parents need to realize that people around them didn’t give birth to Jr. Sonofabitch, you did. We don’t think your kid is cute, and you might have to inconvenience yourself and take your kid outside and not punish everyone else that has chosen to not have kids, or has chosen to not bring their kids to the office. Final thought on kids…I expect kids to act like brats, I expect parents to show some restraint and not bitch slap them at Wal-Mart. Yes, I saw someone smack their kid, and yes I said “you are a terrible parent and your kid acts that way because you are a terrible parent.”

Moving on…

I hate 75% of animal owners. Animal owners are worse than parents. Tell me how many times you have been approached while walking, jogging, or working in your yard, by the words biggest dog with the worlds loudest bark and the owner says “Oh Fido is so nice, he won’t bite.” WHAT? Did I ask if your dog was nice? Did I approach your dog? Last time I checked I wasn’t the one trying to dry hump the other, he came at me, like a fat man to pudding.

I also love when I am walking my dog, on a leash, and some moron is running with his dog, who decides my dog is a nice pre-dinner snack and goes for him. Mr. Runner in his blue Lycra spandex running suit, with his shriveled sack, starts to yell “Fido here, heel, come, no, stop.” Ok, well your dog still hasn’t learned English, and you haven’t learned the law. Keep your effing dog on a leash ALWAYS. Keep your effing dog away from mine, keep your berries out of my line of sight. I have been known to kick a dog, or 4, in the soft spots when they come running after Buddy.

How about when an animal is hit by a car. “The driver didn’t even stop!” Let’s assume the driver was a licensed veterinarian, he still has no legal obligation to stop and deal with your stupid ass “You hit my dog!” Well ass-hat, you broke the law and your dog was either off a leash, or out of your yard. Pet owners can be held financially responsible for any damage to an automobile resulting from your property. I would stop, I would inspect my car, and I would get all your contact information. I would get back in my car and call the police, I don’t know doggy first aide; furthermore a wounded dog WILL bite, and nothing feels so fine as lacerations to the face!

I also love people who just can’t afford to spay their dog or cat. Would you buy a car if you couldn’t afford to put gas in it? Would you buy a house if you couldn’t pay for electricity? Would you buy a dog if you couldn’t afford the $35 it costs to spay it? Idiots.

Oh and did you hear about the douche-bag in SLC who decided that he wanted to rid himself of 12 0r 13 Jack Russell Terrier puppies…yeah he thought the best way was to put them in plastic bags, wrap it in a sheet and toss them in a dumpster, all but one froze to death. That guy is a BAD-ASS…nothing shows your manliness like killing puppies. I got an idea for you fuck-face, why don’t you go to the tallest building with-in 1 mile radius of your house and jump off the roof. You don’t deserve to live, you don’t deserve a funeral, you don’t deserve to breathe the same air as anyone around you. The only good thing people will say about you, after you take your own life, is that you realized what a pile of shit you really were, and cared about human kind so much you didn’t want your seed to spread. Kill yourself now.

Now that I have vented, read this. I love animals and kids. I think bad dogs are created by bad pet owners. Animals do so much good in this world. They help those with disabilities live, they help find people who are injured, and they have a way of making the most horrible day better. Kids are so freaking funny, they do the most awkward things. Kids are so innocent and naive, kids don’t need to be dragged to adult places where they will be miserable, kids don’t need to be bitch slapped because the adult can’t properly parent. Kids don’t need to be belittled to be disciplined. I am sure even the best parent has bad days, but I can tell you my parents never backhanded me, even at my worst.

Peace

7 Things

So some harpie at work “tagged” me. Little does she know how busy I am lying in bed pinned under the blankets by animals who think that I am in their bed. Seriously I can’t even roll over at night without Whitey clawing the shit out of my legs. Even though I am sure to lose some skin, at the paws of of my evil cat, I will post seven things about me people may or may not know.

1) I sing the alphabet after I pee and before I wash my hands. There is a very good reason for this! I don’t want my poo/pee water getting in the wrong pipe and coming out of the faucet. Some have told me that there are separate pipes for poo water and hand washing water, but why take the risk? I flush, sing my song, then wash my hands.

2) I love teen movies. Can’t Hardly Wait, Mean Girls, or anything else geared toward high schoolers….I will watch it, mock it and act like it was a waste of my time…then buy the DVD with bonus features then watch them all.

3) I used to make up fake concerts, promote them on campus, and watch people show up to see concerts that never existed.

4) I want to be on a city council…I am sure that will never happen because of this blog.

5) I once gave a cooked turkey to a frat house that my cat had previously been eating from inside, I told them years after.

6) I am terribly shy.

7) From kindergarten until high school when I had to do reports on what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always chose Used Car Salesman. My parents were so proud.

Peace

Oh, and I guess I will tag some peeps…..Loralee, Jess, The Bridge, Al, and Bunny (Who should start a blog, but is to self-conscious to.)

Things I love!!

So I feel my blog is too negative. I think I am using this blog as a personal sounding board, so I decided to post something positive. Things I love about Logan! I love that they do a leaf clean-up in the fall. I love that they have a big vacuum truck come around and sweep the roads. I love that Logan is cold in the winter. I love that when I am in a bad mood I can drive 5 minutes and be in the middle of no where. I love that Logan is small enough that I feel safe, and big enough that I don’t feel isolated. I love the crazy fog we get. I love the huge snow storms, and the silence of the heavy snow falling.

Now for some great news!! Just Great News!! I found money in a parking lot, got free pastries and got a refund check all in the same day! What a great day.

I am in debt….HEAVILY…but last year, when I hit rock bottom, I decided to get out. Does anyone know who Dave Ramsey is? He is the best talk radio show host ever, KVNU are you listening? You can catch him on 570 KNRS or online. Anyway he is a financial adviser and gives the best advice, people call in with their stories and he tells them what he would do to get back on track. Anyway so I was listening to him last year and he told a caller there was bad news and good news. The bad news was the caller was in a financial hole, the good news was he had a big shovel and he better start digging. So I started digging. First thing I did was get caught up. I got a second job and caught myself up on all my bills. The second thing I did was cancel my credit cards. This was HARD. The third thing I did was create a repayment program, and stuck with it. So I am one year closer to out of debt. This spring I plan to use my tax refund to pay off 1/2 of my debt and I should be out of debt in no time. I also got a second job to speed things along. To be honest though I am saving every penny from this second job to get a new car. Foci is a great car, but I want something newer, and different. I have had this same car for 5 years! That is a long time for me to own anything.

Oh and more great news, I love my dog. He is so damn cute, he is who the blog is named after BTW. Oh and I am getting a tattoo…I am going to dip Buddy’s paw in paint, put his paw on paper, then take the paper to the tattoo guy and have Buddy’s exact paw print over my heart. I am really excited about this. I have been wanting a tattoo for years, here is how I made my decision to do it. I decided I wanted one, but made myself wait a year to see if in a year I still wanted it. Then after a year I still wanted it, so I made myself think of something that meant a lot to me, nothing means more to me than my dog, so I decide on the paw and made myself wait a year. So I have spent a year thinking about Buddy’s paw on my heart, and I still want it. As of January 6, 2008 it will be the one year mark. Now all I have to do is find the right tattoo person. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Oh and I am going on a date on Friday, I am really excited, this will be date numero dos. I have a fun plan devised for the date, we will discuss this more after the date on Friday…the plan may still fall through and I don’t want to put anything out there that has a chance of not happening.

Oh, and I need some gift advice for Christmas. I have to buy 16 presents. I am getting my sister an under counter stereo. I am getting my brother in law an organizer for tools. I am getting three of my nephews two way radios. I am getting my youngest nephew a remote control car. Now for my “second family” I am getting the girls books…boring, but like Jess said “the parents will thank me.” But I don’t know what to get my “second parents”….and I don’t know what to get my “second grandparents” and what to get my Mom and Dad. So I need help with 6 adult gifts…any help?

Oh and I stopped taking the multivitamin and my pee smells great…well relative to what it smelled like last week it is great.

That’s all!!

Peace

My Pee STINKS!!!!

HELLO!! I am back…so this week has been crazy! Trying to work two jobs, going to school….I just get so tired. I have some funny/disturbing links I will post at the end…I would say they are for 18 and over….and they are sooo gay. So gay…so incredibly gay.

 Anyway, my pee stinks, and is the wrong color. It is so hateful, and it is somewhat chunky. I will have to look more into this though. I have a theory about my stinky pee….it must be my multivitamin. I am taking this heair growth pill called Nioxin….damn. Seriously, damn.

Oh and someone should buy my car. It is for sale.

Car Link: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?sid=&nid=443&tab=list/view&ad=416777

Horrible Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DHl6ncd1s0&feature=related

Peace