Another neat picture is added.

I’m not sure if I wrote about this, and if I did, well you get to hear the story twice. My friend Sauerkraut loves themed parties, well she loves throwing them, and decided that the First Annual After-Thanksgiving Barbeque would have an ’80’s theme. I was really hoping for Wear Anything Except Clothes, but she won. Mostly because she gave me an ultimatum that she would only go if that was the theme (she is a hermit from November-April, she hates the cold). So the party was thrown, and was a success. See pics here.

Pretty much everyone dressed up, and there was some serious creativity. There was the ’80’s Prom Queen, an ’80’s dancer, a pimp (me), we had nerds, sports fans, yuppies….I am telling you I have some very cool friends. The night started out innocent enough, there was food, lots of drinks and ex-lax chex (made by Sauerkraut, don’t worry no one ate it). Then came the part of the party where I lost all my inhibitions and went for a swim in the river….naked…twice (The first time partially clothed). But I was not alone in my swim, “Mega” swam with me. Then came the table dancing and debauchery, you never would have known I was the gay one since there were three straight girls freak dancing on the coffee table, and I kissed a girl. Yes, it is true, I kissed a girl. Anyway that was the First Annual After Thanksgiving Party.

I would now like to announce the First Annual Pre-Presidents Day Party. The theme has yet to be announced, but there are a few options.

1) Super Hero
2) Wear anything but clothes
3) Dress like a God
4) White Trash Wedding

So tell me your thoughts on what you want the next party to be, and I will be sure to get the word out on all the details. If you have a fun theme, feel free to suggest it and pending Sauerkraut’s approval we will have us a sweet party!

Peace

Dog’s I must have

First, I know I don’t need any more animals….but these dogs are so effing cute. So I think I might get one.

I will name this one Bruice and this one Frank

So which should I get?

Peace

Your Mom!

Listen, those are the funniest words ever. Period. Here is the way to use the words “your mom.”

“I am so tired.” “Your mom.”

“Do you want to go to McDonalds?” “Your mom.”

See that is funny, no, it is.

So I want to tell everyone a story. When I was little I used to want to be a street performer, well either that or a used car salesman, but that is a totally different story. Anyway, so I wanted to be a street performer and was practicing for my promising future. How does one practice being a street performer? Well you perform on the street. I can think of several occasions where I would sit on our black rolling garbage can and sing songs….loud. Some may now be asking what songs I sang, well my favorite was by Juice Newton, Angel in the Morning. Another song I had in my repertoire was Simon and Garfunkles hit Cecilia. While the dream to be a street performer has never fully died, my days practicing died pretty quickly. My dad came home one day and told me the neighbors were complaining I was spending hours sitting on a garbage can screaming. Clearly they didn’t, and probably still don’t understand art.

Oh and I would like to congratulate my good friend Buns. Not only is he on my list of top 10 coolest people I have ever met, but he posted on this blog for the first time. What a pimp. I have been trying to get him to blog for some time now, but he resits…I think someone needs a pep talk and a hug!

Anyway, I really can’t think of anything else to write, so go look at the new picture I posted on the PICS ARE HERE  page. And why has no one commented on how cool I am for learning how to add pics and hyperlink? Anyone out there?

Peace 

Amazing News!

I am learning how to upload pictures….I might do a picture a day for a while. Anyway, I have fixed The Biggest Crap Ever Page….the picture is now much bigger, and look at the PICS ARE HERE page, there are a few up now! And guess what else? I am hyperlinking!

 Peace

This is me NOT being creative

I am so tired of writing…press releases are sucking the life from my body, but I am going on a cruise in March, so expect great things after that. Seriously though I hate to write professional crap. If I could just say “fuck” in one press release I would be a happy boy….maybe I should work for a fetish company….interesting.

Ellie, the foster dog, is gone. She really overstayed her welcome by flooding the basement. After all our dilligent work dog proofing the bathroom we failed to remove one item that she could chew on…the toilet. She managed to chew through the pipe the fills the toilets tank….effectivly spraying water for an undisclosed amount of time. There was enough water to flood the basement, that was her last night at the house, although I did find one of her claws in the dryer this morning…very gross.

Raise your hand, of who here, just loves themselves some Tori Amos….and yes my hand is in the air. Ok, well this is all. So yah.

 Peace

I must appologize

So the previous post was written last night. I must tell you I was in no condition to be writing anything…it was one of those “avoid using heavy machinery” kind of nights. So while I will never re-read what I wrote, I do believe I remember most of what I wrote and it is all true. Again I am sorry and will try to elevate my postings to the level that my loyal readers have come to expect.

What a wild bunch of days

So here is the short of it, Christmas happened and Buddy ate two packs of gum…i hate when he eats bad things. Anyway what goes must come out right? Well when goes in, gum must come out. So the next day, Christmas, I come home and find…Buddy has a half digested gum poo ball hanging from his butt. I am sure his poo ball itched a lot since he was dragging his butt all over the hosue which caused awesome brown racing stripes on the carpet, couch, rug, my bed, and to top off the sitation he must have farted since there was a huge gum poo chucnk stuck to my door….about 6 inches above where his butt reaches. That was fun to clean up.

I am now a dog foster dad. I am such a softie and thought I needed to help animals, since I claim to love them. Anyway I now have a cute foster dog named Ellie. She was so cute and so scared of everything, I loved her…..notice I am using a lot, of past tense words….I now hate her. She is no longer afraid of anything and has really come out of her shell. She has eaten a book, 2 magazines, 4 cd’s, 1 DVD, a pair of headphones, a comforter and my life! This dog is so cute, but she is sooooo bad. She has so much energy and loves to romp outside with Buddy…except Buddy’s patience is growing thin as well. Buddy, who is typically so nice, is going for blood when they go outside.

I turned 26, I am now closer to 30 than 20. I am 1/3 of the way to dieing. The averange man lives to 76, I am 26, you do the math. I was so depressed turning 26, I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am still in school, not in a meaningful relationship, and am in an ass-load of debt. So I was pretty sad for a while…but I am happy now.

So much else happened, but I can’t recall all the things I wanted to write about….I kept saying….”I will blog about that tomorrow” and now I forgot.

Oh the hickey…so on my bithday I got a hickey, he was a big hickey as well. It was fun to get, and fun to have…until I realized that I was going to my parents house the next day. So I go to my mom and dads house in a collared shirt with a hoodie on…just hoping that no one would notice. On the way there I called my friend Saurkraut, she said “you’ll be fine, as long as you are not wearing red.” SHIT I WAS WEARING RED! Anyway within 10 minutes my family was asking “is your neck stiff, you aren’t acting normal” or “is that razor burn?” Oh man, by the end of the night everyone knew.

So that was my past week, pretty boring, prety anticlimatic. Next week I start school again. I am so ready to be out of school, I will be 27 when I graduate, I will have gone to school for 9 years, and will only have a bachelors…I am such a loser. On the other hand I will have accomplished something I started, will have a degree, and will hopefully be able to make more….I am so over this 2 jobs crap. I am seriously so tired. I work way to much to still be poor.

On and I have New Years resolutions…lots of them.

1) Walk to my office blindfolded
2) Do the spilts by Dec. 30
3) Work out at the gym on a regular basis. (twice a week?)
4) Buy a new car
5) Keep on getting out of debt
6) Have a yearly, monthly, weekly and daily budget
7) Take a roadtrip across the midwest
Get into a meaningful relationship
9) Have a new “look”
10) Blog more!!

So yeah that is all. I really can’t think of anything else. I really will try to blog more…I want to add pictures, and links to cool videos.

Oh and here is a list of things I asked for for Christmas and never got….I love presents!!

New MP3 player
Digital Camera
External hard drive
New clothes
New Car
New Furniture
And everything else!

 Peace!