So, so, so exhausted

My good “friend” Craig got suckered into one of those timeshare presentations. I think he is pissed I am forcing him to join my gay polygamist compound, well that and the fact that I legally own him according to Facebook. Anyway that jerk gave my name and number to the time share people. The hook sounds pretty sweet, you listen to their schpeal and they give you a free trip to Anaheim, Reno or Vegas. I chose Anaheim. Anyway…long story short I hate Craig.

I left there shaking, they don’t understand the word “no.” This guy actually told me it is a more wise financial decision to stop saving money and put it toward a timeshare and when the furnace goes out to put it on a credit card. His reasoning? Furnaces go down in value, time shares go up. IT MAKES NO SENSE. NONE. I asked him what the market value of his timeshare is today, he told me it was priceless because he is going to will it to his kids.

There is an episode of Friends where Chandler wants to “Quit the Gym.” He can’t because when he tried they bring out a hot girl or a ripped guy who makes him feel like a loser, or convinces him to stay with the gym because the girl is so hot he cant say no. THEY tried that on me! I had to practically yell that I was gay and bringing a hot girl out was NOT going to help. Then they bring out Linda from Corporate…I love her. I was almost in tears and she understood. She gave me my free trip and told me to run.

So I have a free trip to Anaheim, but the cost was great. Time shares are a good idea for a certain type of person, but is no good for me.

Oh and Tyler, Kamille and Jess….sorry.

Peace

Costa Vida

Today I was ordering four items for work from Costa Vida. We had a little meeting thing that went over lunch so the boss was springing for some Costa Vida. About 30 minutes before we were wrapping up I called to order the food. I knew they were busy, so I decided to give them the 30 minutes, plus the 15 minutes it would take me to get there. That is plenty of time right? Here is how the convo went.

Costa Vida: “Thank you for calling Costa Vida, can you hold?”
Me: “Sure”

fast forward 19 minutes……

Costa Vida: “Thank you for holding how can I help you.”
Me: “I want to talk to a manager.”

fast forward 4 minutes.

Costa Vida: “This is (forgot name) how can I help you?”

Ok well needless to say I was LIVID. Here are the bullet points of the conversation.

Costa Vida was busy, they made over 100 orders. They are understaffed. They are not sorry they are busy. They would not take my order. She was rude and inconsiderare. I pointed out that a 20 minute hold time is rude no matter how busy you are, and that is pretty much my whole point.

So to recap, I was on hold for more than 20 minutes and they refused to take my order, and never appologized. I emailed the corporate headquarters, they forwarded my email to the real manager there. She just called and appologized a million times.  I think she really feels bad. So while I am not calling for an all out boycott, like I am for Utah County, I will probably go to Cafe Rio from now on.

Peace

Logan City Council is Invited to play poker at my house.

First off, let me just say that this is not an unbiased report of the City Council Meeting, nor is it intended to be. It is just the insane ramblings of a single dude who lives in the Logan Ghetto. So read it and flame away.

The meeting started promptly at 6:38 pm with a thought by Council Woman Tami. She gave a thought about being open minded and not being stubborn and ignorant. I think she even said that quote was as much intended for her and the council as it was for the people in the audience. She then opened up the floor for comments. I was surprised at how quickly they jumped into the issue, I liked that.

Oh, I forgot, before the floor was open for comments, Tami asked, by a show of hands who supported, opposed or was indifferent to the issue. I would guess about 85% were AGAINST, 10% were for it, and the remaining 5% thought they were there to see Judge Cheryl. Did I mention the room was “packed?” Notice the quotation marks? That room is a bad place to conduct a meeting of this type. It didn’t seem full, they did bring in extra chairs, but Tami was adamant that the aisles remain clear and that people sit in the hall because of fire code.

Anyway a line forms at the mic. immediately. Tami told the audience, that the council would not entertain conversations with the speakers and would not tolerate cheering, booing, clapping, and laughing. What they did allow was snotty looks on their faces when someone said something they disagreed with. They allowed sneers at people who were so passionate about the issue they sounded audibly frustrated. They did give nods of approval to people they agreed with. Laraine has the worst poker face. She sat there like the effing Queen of England. She had this slimy smirk on her face the whole night. I felt she was rude, inconsiderate and the looks she gave people she didn’t agree with were condescending at best.

So the line forms people start talking. I think Tami expected more people to be in support of it because she instituted a “boy/girl” rule. You know like in jr. high you lined up boy…girl…boy. Well she wanted equal amounts of comments  for…against….for….against. Well that would have worked if the people there were split 50/50. They were not. I was furious that she wanted “equal representation.” Tami, if you wanted an honest representation of what the city thinks you should have allowed everyone to line up as they see fit. This council brought out the extremes from both sides. From the little old lady from PA who wants park strip parking banned to the lady who has been trying to sell her rental property for more than a year but no one will buy because of the parking, this was the chance to get a true representation of the city, you blew it. In the name of “fairness” the side favoring this resolution were disproportionately represented. I was livid and laughed in disgust.

I was rather surprised how calm the audience was. They laughed at jokes, were respectful of both sides and only once did someone laugh when it was not appropriate. At that point Tami pointed out that she and the council did not need to be there, and they could cancel this meeting at anytime. No one from the audience challenged anyone speaking about this resolution…again though, the same could not be said for the Council. Steve Taylor, a former councilman was making a point that the people directly impacted by a nuisance neighbor should be the only people aloud to turn in a violator of the law. He went on to state that Council Members should not be aloud to drive around random neighborhoods and call in complaints, to which Tami snapped “Do you really think that happens?” Mr. Taylor said, “I know it happens, Mr. Geyer told me it does.” Tami, who said she would not engage in a conversation with speakers backed down.

Now to things I appreciated. I liked that Councilman Olsen seemed to actually pay attention. I am assuming that will wear off after a few years like it has to the other council members who were there as a PR move so they could say they held “multiple public meetings,” Mr. Olsen got it, and if he was as annoyed as the rest of the council he is NOT aloud at my poker game, his poker face is an A+. He sympathised with both sides, sat at attention, appeared to be listening and showed emotions. Unlike Mayor Watts who looked as though us little people need to just stop trying to fight the government and learn our places. I could almost hear him thinking…”Who do you think you are coming in here and wasting our time, don’t you know that all the talking in the world isn’t changing this issue?” I have a strong dislike for him…although if he could just complete the handle-bar mustache I know I could put him on a movie set and he would be confused for a backwoods sheriff that has a big ego, bad temper and a bumbling sidekick.

I appreciate that the council took the time to allow public comment, even though they have their minds made up. I appreciate all the support that came out from both sides. I appreciated those that stood with well prepared statements, I appreciated people who have been involved from the start that may not have a “dog in the fight” but want to help make Logan the best it can be.

I did not appreciate Tami allowing her friend to cut in line to talk about why enforcing these laws was in Logan’s best interest. The rationale was “she was recently in the hospital.” GET IN LINE SISTER, there are no handicap parking spaces in the line to make a public comment, this isn’t Disneyland where those with disabilites get to move to the front of the line.

Overall there were some great points made on both sides….and here is the list.

- 7 years ago Logan RE-PAVED a parking strip for a homeowner after they did utility work.
- 3 years ago Logan donated their labor to pour an illegal parking pad if an owner bought the material.
- Logan City is not enforcing the laws on the books that would actually help the neighborhoods such as: Garbage cans left out indefinitely, proper snow removal, and parking to far on the sidewalk. If these were enforced it would help the neighborhoods look better.
- Citizens have proposed other projects to help beautify these neighborhoods, but have received little to no response.
- One man mentioned that a house bought for a little over 100k (I think) was converted BACK to a single resident dwelling and sold for more than 200k, so a profit can be made on these houses.

Overall nothing will change, the laws will be enforced, people will complain, people will lose money and sell houses. Property values will decline and the market will be flooded with starter homes in about 18 months is my estimation. In a handout Logan City made they took pictures of the houses that violate this ordinance it showed park strip violations, driveway violations and RV pad violations. My prediction is Logan will stick to their guns with park strips, it affects the poor people, but will back down on the RV pad enforcement. The people that have parking next to a garage and use it to park boats, RVs and cars are people that live on Cliffside, an area with the biggest voter turn out. The council will back down on those so they can seek re-election.

Tami, Laraine, the Mayor, and the bald guy with glasses can come play poker anytime. Oh and has anyone noticed how well Herm Olsen has aged, he looks good!

Peace 

I wish I were insane

So today I have been thinking a lot, I really wish I was clinically insane. The last few weeks I have not been myself. I have been super introspective, my mind is going 100 miles per hour all the time, I can’t sleep, I can’t stay awake, I am constantly second guessing everything I am doing…I feel crazy. My biggest worry is that I am not insane, and this is how I am supposed to feel. I cant focus on one project to save my life. I have no idea what is wrong. If I were crazy I could tell everyone I have this mental illness and it would make sense, as it is people just think I am forgetful, a flake or lazy. Oh, but my mouth is healing nicely. It has been over a week since I tried to eat my face and the wound is healing wonderfully!

I took my dog to school for a presentation, my group was presenting on ways to help 4-Paws Animal Rescue and I wanted to show a success story of a dog who was saved from an abusive home. It went well except the group before me brought in food. Imagine being a dog whose one life goal is to eat as much people food as he can and being surrounded by 20 people eating chips. Half way through I had to ask my roommate, who brought the beast to campus, to take him away.

Anyway, this week is going to be insane, so I probably wont write for another week or so…I have an idea though, re-read some of my previous posts, it will be like “The Best of Jeff’s Blog.”

Peace

Inner-Mouth Lipo

I am in such freaking pain. Yesterday I was chewing gum, unsuscessfully and bit my lip. I know everyone has done it, but for me biting my lip is the most painful frustrating thing that can happen. It bled like a mother for hours. So then today I am eating a sammich and bit the same wound from yesterday. This time I think I ate a teaspoon of flesh, I have decided I must have a larger than average amount of fat in my mouth. Does anyone know if mouth lip exists?

Me? Gay?!? NO!

So as everyone that reads this blog knows I was “in the closet” until I was 24 years 11 months and 10 days old. This I bring up for several reasons…

1) My roommate says I am the worst gay man ever.
2) Someone who works for KVNU and is a host for For the People, who is NOT Tom said my blog needs a “niche.”
3) I don’t fit the stereotype.
4) I want more hits on my blog.

How does this all fit together? Read on.

The un-named KVNU guy said I should have a theme to my blog like being gay in Cache Valley. He thinks this will increase my blog hits, this corresponds with points 2 and 4. “Un-Named KVNU guy” said I need to write about being gay in Cache Valley and not fitting the stereotype, points 1 and 3. What does the exact day have to do with this post? Again, read on.

So I would like anyone that knew me before I “came out” and “knew” I was gay to tell me what it was that made you KNOW I was gay before I told you. I know what Jess will say, and she was right to suspect. I would also like people who knew me before I “came out” to tell me why they thought I was straight.

So, here are the reasons I don’t fit the stereotype…I can put up sheet rock (including the mudding and taping.) I can fix a car, build a fence, I hate musicals, I hate “The Arts.” I don’t like shopping, I hate to cook, I only buy clothes off the clearance rack, I don’t drive a Hybrid or a Subaru. I am not good at decorating anything. I hate Paris Hilton, I have never used the word “fierce” seriously, I hate celebrity gossip and I can wire a house for electricty/cable and phone.

So while I may not fit the stereotype, I think the stereotype sucks so I am glad I don’t fit it…and why is it that when someone hears I am gay they ask “Do you know Michael Ballam?” Can someone explain?

Ok, so post why you thought I was gay or why you thought I was straight; and I will write more about being gay in a sea of Heterosexuals….even though I have a theory about 50% of the Mormon men that live in Cache Valley.

Peace

Take my advice

Tonight I went and saw “Ruin.” DO NOT GO SEE IT. This was the worst…worst…worst movie ever. I spent most of the time covering my eyes because it was gross…and not the cool gross where you scream and laugh about it…but gross gross that is only shocking because it is disturbing. It is not scary, the plot is razor thin and in the end the six people that went to see the movie, counting my group, all said the same thing “that was a waste of money.” Or “I hated it.” Save your pennies…in fact this is my money saving tip of the week, don’t go see “Ruin.”

ALSO, big news….we had a record breaking day on the blog this week. When I am not so damn tired I will post the day and the amount of hits. I want to thank everyone for reading this blog. I am confused though…I dont have any breaking news to discuss, I dont have any controversial topics so why do people read this thing?

I think that is all I am going to write today, it is 2:20 in the AM and I have to pee, and then sleep.

Peace

A conversation with Bridge

Last night The Bridge and I had a most interesting conversation. I have created a separate page for this conversation, as SOME could view it as innapropriate. I would hate for anyone to be offended by stumbling upon it. If you can take a joke click HERE. Otherwise, ignore its existance.

Peace

Read my blog Damn it!

I need more hits, my blog is declining into the great abyss of obscurity.

Time to talk about my dad, and fix the blight.

It seems that I talk about my mom a lot on this blog, but I do have a dad as well. My dad is pretty cool. Growing up we didn’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, it wasn’t until I graduated high school that I realized how great he was.

When I think about my dad I think of what a hard worker he is. He always had/has a project going on around the house, or is building a house. I always think my dad can do anything. When I was about 12 we lived in an older neighborhood in Farmington. Now anyone that knows Farmington will know there is no “bad” area, but relative to the area we weren’t in the nicest ‘hood. My dad came up with a crazy scheme to make the place look better, “Love Your Neighbor Day.”

This day was typically in the Spring and was on a Saturday. If I recall sign-up sheets were given to everyone in the neighborhood a few weeks in advance. These sheets asked if there was anything you wanted done to your house/property that you could not do yourself. After that a second sign-up sheet was passed around that had the “to-do” list on it. Everyone that wanted to participate would sign-up for the chore that needed to be done based on your experience/ability to help out. If you wanted something done, you had to pitch in. If you were unable to help out but could cook, you were in! If you could vacuum, dust, sweep, wash dishes, change a diaper, babysit, knit socks, fix holes in jeans…any skill you had was needed. This was all honor system and it worked. Even 150 year old ladies still tried to pitch in.

I recall one of my neighbors drove a diesel and donated his truck and trailer for the day. It was parked in a cul-de-sac and that became our “DI” drop off during “Love Your Neighbor Day.” There were pickup trucks and trailers waiting to haul stuff to the dump. Since I was pretty young I ususally took tree limbs to the trucks, raked leaves for old people or helped paint houses. I hated it. I hated waking up at 6:00am and waiting in the cold eating donuts, which I hate, and waiting some more for my assignments.

There were things I did like about “Love Your Neighbor Day.” I liked interacting with the people I didn’t see on a regular basis. I liked that this included everyone regardless of religion or what kind of family lived in the hosue. Most of all I liked to see what the neighborhood looked like AFTER we were done. Usually your assigment had you in one part of the neighborhood all day, so going to a new street that was cleaned up was walking into a new neighborhood. I remember it being so clean, and tidy and just looking so much nicer after we were done.

Why do I bring this up? It seems to me that the Mayor and his henchmen would rather punish the people of Logan then help them. If I understand correctly there are people appointed for each neighborhood, based on elementary school, to report back what the needs are in that area. Would it be to hard to try something like this? Is it asking to much to let the neighborhoods fix what they think is wrong? Wouldn’t it strengthen a neighborhood for everyone to get out and help someone else? Wouldn’t there be more pride for your neighborhood if everyone pitched in? Would the youth be more respectful of their neighborhood if they felt some ownership of it? Would it be a safer community because you could actually get to know you neighbors and serve them?

Rather than killing property values, something like this would actually raise them. If I was buying a hosue and found out that once or twice a year the whole neighborhood pulled together and did service for each other, I think that is a place I would want to live. Wouldn’t a “Love Your Neighbor Day” achieve the same thing the mayor wants without govt. intervention?

Sadly this will not happen. Logan City would rather strong arm it’s residents into conforming with ultimatums and threats than build a comunity by encouraging service and compassion. Maybe what will lower my property value isn’t the renters next door, it’s the people elected to office.