Why I will be fired.

So as most of you know I work 2 jobs. The first job is what pays the bills. The second job is part time and pays for the fun stuff. I work about 25 hours a week at Bed Bath and Beyond. While I am not passionate about duvet covers and Kitchen Aide mixers, I manage to get through the days, barely. Some days it is so boring I pray for an earthquake. Recently I have been spicing it up by scaring people.

I LOVE being scared. My favorite thing to do is hide under a roommates bed and grab their ankles as they climb in bed. Anyway…I have found that hiding in a big box and jumping out screaming while a coworker takes the trash out is my second favorite way to scare people. What is funnier is I get to watch the replay on the security camera. I usually get the crap kicked out of me, but man nothing is funnier than watching a coworker fall on the floor and try to drag her body away from me. That sounded really bad.

I hate the following things in music:
1) Talking. example: In the song by Rhianna, I dont know the name, but the lyrics go….”But you put on quite a show, very entertaining, but it’s over now, go on and take a bow…..” she SAYS the words “leave” and “please.” If I wanted to hear someone speak words to me I would listen to a book on tape…Rhianna….suck it.

2) I hate songs that suck…such as that song, again don’t know title, or artist, it is about the summer of 1989. The lyric is “we tried new things, we smoked funny things” FOR HELLS SAKE IF YOU CAN’T FIND 2 DIFFERENT WORDS THAT RHYME DON’T RHYME! I will come up with words that rhyme with “things”…sing, ding, ping, ring, cling, fling, swing…etc. You see, it isn’t that  hard, and why does this song piss me off so much? I can’t put my finger on it, but this song sucks huge amount of balls.

3) Any song with a whistle, horn, bell, siren, or anyother NON musical sound.

4) Songs that try to tug at heart strings. The most blatant offender is “Do You Remember” by the hack Allen Jackson.

5) Anything by U2.

Peace